the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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