i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
