We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
