ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
