it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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