She's JV to your varsity
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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