I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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