she was so not down for the gang bang
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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