my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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