I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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