When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
