Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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