That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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