don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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