drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
