...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
