maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
