Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
