i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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