4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
