I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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