Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
being pregnant is like rehab
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
