Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
