im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
