I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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