sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
