i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
