FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
