I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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