if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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