I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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