I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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