I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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