imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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