Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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