white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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