i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
