you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
