hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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