You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
