Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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