My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
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Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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