If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
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