Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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