So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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