is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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