the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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