He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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