She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
