Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
