Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
