Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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