No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
