help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
