You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
