I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
