Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Your penis caused this!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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