when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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