So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
