You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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