Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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