YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
