____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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