Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
