I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
