So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize