I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
